the gridlock of wanting to peruse writing

 Writing is something that I only recently discovered to be my passion. And yet, I still do not know if I want it to be a passion. See, the thing that puts me into this gridlock is contributed by many factors. Like the fact that I may not think I am good enough, the fact the writing industry is plummeting, or the fact that no one in my family wants me to become a writer and are just too kind to say otherwise. I mean, I do understand their concern because of the other reasons I listed beforehand, but I worry because what if it is true? I mean what if I am not a good enough writer, or what if AI takes over media before I even have the chance to graduate? Not saying that AI is not already taking over the world, but I hate to be the one to break it to you, it practically is.  

Is this something that other younger writers deal with as well? Resentment from others about wanting to actually take writing seriously as a career? The feeling of thinking that you are not good enough compared to others?— And that is another worry: the feeling that you are not better than someone else, but it is only because that they do not try to hone that skill. Is that too specific? Because sometimes I wonder if my peers, the ones that are pretty more-than-decent- writers, are better at it then me, as someone who wants to make it their career, but they do not focus on improving it as much as I do. It is like they could if they wanted to, but they just do not. Instead they spend their time on a more advancing vocation, like something along the lines of STEM. 

I wanted to use this post as an opportunity to discuss the fact that everyone, including me, has struggles and doubts when writing, but I also wanted to take it as another opportunity to discuss and ask others if they go through this too. 

Catch you next time when you flip the page ๋࣭ ⭑⚝

(sorry if this one was a bit gloomy)

an understanding of the audience of your writing

 This morning, I was watching one of Haley Pham’s older YouTube videos about her reading to complete her massive TBR (a list of books that are to be read), and she picked up a book by Brain Sanderson called Tress of the Emerald Sea. 

I, personally, have never read the book, but in the video she did, and she said that the author of it originally wrote the book for his wife and was not going to publish it, but was encouraged by his wife to do so, which he then did. The book now has sold more than 100,000 copies. 

After that, Haley talks more about how Stephen King (I do not think he needs any introduction), writes with one person in mind because if he does so with the thought of pleasing everyone in mind, the stories he produces would not match the quality that it so evidently does now. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7EQLIqn3AJ0 - is the link to her video if you want to watch it (I recommend you do, she is literally my motivation for reading).

Now, this really got me thinking about how we write for the intention of the impression of everyone, including me, when I was only moments ago overthinking the skepticality of my choice of wording when i wrote “Haley talks more about how Stephen King (I do not think he needs any introduction),” because I was under the impression that everyone reading this would think I was being pretentious for saying that, which I honestly still do, never having read one of his books but still knowing so much about him. This also leads me to a piece of irony which I found in Haley’s video where she says that she actually did not enjoy Tress of the Emerald Sea and rated it only three stars. 

But, this feeling of an author is like this paradox of wanting people to read your writing, but also wanting to write something without the external pressure of an audience. This conclusion is a scenario which I feel like is an inevitable part of writing that literally just comes with it, and if anything, it could be something to appreciate, if you looked at it in that lens. What I mean is that there is the beauty in writing of putting yourself out there. I do not mean to be sappy, but writing is a challenge, and viewing the art in this perspective gave me a new appreciation for writers. I think it also gave me more aspirations into developing my writing, and I hope that you, reader, get the motivation to write as well by reading this! 

Also, if you had not read the banner yet, I have changed the publication of the posts to biweekly, twice a month on Sundays, due to the start of the school year! I hope all of you readers can understand, due to the immense pressure that grades and extracurriculars bring, something which all you probably relate with. The next post will be on the 30th of August. 

Catch you next time when you flip the page!